


Can't remember how to forget

by StaishBlackRose



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mini, Night Driving, Night Talks, Post-Canon, all that kind of stuff you know, night swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 11:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8203276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaishBlackRose/pseuds/StaishBlackRose
Summary: It's been two years since Haru left Iwatobi to pursue his career of a professional swimmer. But can he really forget what or more specifically who he had to leave behind?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of me stuck on a plane alone with Halsey's Roman Holiday and Fall Out Boy's Favorite Record playing on repeat.  
> Have a nice read :3

Navigating through the airport was always hard for Haru. It was definitely not among the crowded ones and certainly he has been here many times. But embarrassingly he could still barely find his way to the right entrance, because each time he was there his mind was somewhere else. So when he saw a towering figure frantically waving its hands around for him, Haru felt a blissful relief. Not a lasting one though. His heart sank when silhouette starting to become more and more familiar, when he could outline the sandy bangs and almost feel the warmth of the green eyes. And what was he supposed to do? Hug him and make them both hurt again? Just nod before proceeding to the entrance together in a daunting silence? Say “Hi” in the neutral tone pretending that nothing has changed between them?  
“Haru!” Apparently Makoto made this decision a long time ago, Haru thought, as he returned the crushing hug. Ah, hurt it is. “They delayed your flight?”  
“Yeah, it’s stormy in Sydney this time of the year.” Haru answered, breathing in the oh so familiar smell and feeling warmth under his palms where they landed on the broad shoulders. He never wanted to let go now, never wanted to lose this feeling of security. All those long days without it vanished, no, were filled with this overwhelming comfort now. And yet he couldn’t put his heavy from a long flight and overall tiredness head to rest on the calmly heaving chest like he used to, like he always could without a second thought.  
“Should we go?” Makoto stepped back and smiled at him. Haru knew he was bluffing as well as he knew the crook of those lips. Makoto fooled him just once and he would not buy it any other time.  
“Yeah.” Haru clenched the handle of his duffel bag. Old one. The one he left Iwatobi with years ago. “Are we taking the train?”  
“Oh no! I will drive us.”  
“You took your car all the way up here?”  
“Uhm, yeah.” Makoto nervously touched the back of his neck. “Not a big fan of flying, heh.”  
Haru nodded as they walked out of the airport and then down to the parking zone. Makoto withdrew keys from his back pocket and a dark green pick-up answered with a welcoming beep. It was covered in animal themed stickers and on the side there was a name of a shelter in bold white letters.  
Swimming career never worked out for Makoto. He turned it into his sport routine to keep himself in shape and that’s about all he had to do with his youth’s passion. He also never settled in Tokyo - city life was too much after the quiet and slow seaside town. Makoto left college and moved to a small town not too far away from Tokyo where he found his call in helping animals. He bought a small house by the river and each day spent either in the shelter or driving the streets in search for homeless or wounded animals. He was soon to be promoted to take care of animals whose owners are reported for abusive behavior. Haru hated himself for the fact that he learned all of this from Nagisa who kept in-touch with all of them and was the main source of news. He never called Makoto after…  
“When did you arrive?” Haru asked bucking the seatbelt.  
“Oh, just yesterday. Helped mum to tidy the house before the party. I hope this trip doesn’t affect you too much? They really wanted you to come and you know I can’t resist the twins… They became even worse with age and know exactly how to work me.” Makoto started babbling and Haru bit his lip fighting the habit, telling him to squeeze the driver’s hand to calm him down.  
“I am happy to be home for a while.” He said instead, choking a little at the end.  
They drove slowly and Haru could admit he also missed the seaside life. It was warm spring and everything was in bloom. Spring break was still going and children and teenagers walked the streets with ice-cream dripping down their fingers. He could smell the sea, the REAL sea, not that swamp-like fraud washing the bays of Sydney. He breathed in the smell of his past life as if he couldn’t breath all this time.  
“I missed Iwatobi too.” Out of habit Makoto read his thoughts and Haru turned his head to see the smile that wasn’t even aimed his way. Makoto was just happy for him and he didn’t need to show it directly. And Haru was also happy, very happy to pretend it all was fine and how it should be. “Seems like nothing changes here.”  
“Does your mother need extra help? I can cook something for the celebration.” Haru offered, trying very hard to distract himself from those damn lips stretched in the smile.  
“No, I think it’s all fine. You need to rest. Tomorrow it’s going to be crowded, and I know it’s not your cup of tea.” Makoto chuckled.  
“I’m used to it now.” Haru shrugged and saw his house from the other side. He never drove up there in a car so it was kind of weird to see the backdoor from here. “Thanks for picking me up.”  
“It’s my duty after I guilty tripped you into coming to twins’ birthday party.” Makoto laughed, gently pushing the breaks by the Nanase house.  
“It’s not like that. I would gladly come without your though through persuasion.” Of course he would. He was searching for an excuse to see Makoto again for so long. When he received a text from him after almost two years of silence he was mentally booking his flight in an instant.  
“Okay, uhm, see you tomorrow then?”  
“Yeah.”  
His parents never returned to this house after all. They were still traveling and Haru thought about buying them a farm in Australia so that they could be near at least for some time. He wasn’t sentimental but sometimes he missed them and needed to know they are around. Meanwhile this place was slowly becoming dust. Literally. It was everywhere and the roof was leaking in several places. Haru made a mental note to find out who in town could fix his house. Haru was adamant in the decision to keep his grandmother’s house even if one day it becomes just a bunch of wood on grass. But it would be better to try and save what remained of it.  
Haru never felt alone in here. Even after granny’s death, he was never truly alone. He could always go to the pool or to Tachibanas and later his house was filled with his friends. But now he was alone. He couldn’t go anywhere and no one was in town. Nagisa and Rei went to a college in Kyoto together and their classes had begun already. Rin was planning on visiting but in the end had to cancel the trip due to his trainer’s decision. He pulled a muscle at a tournament a month ago and had to miss a lot of practice and now he needed to ease himself back into the hard work. Souske had his annual hospitalization. They said a few more courses and his arm would move freely. It went very bad after he left Iwatobi and quit his therapy and so now he had to pay for this irresponsibility.  
Haru walked to his room and found his bed neatly made with fresh and unfamiliar bed-set. It was green and checkered and he smiled involuntarily. He fell face first into the pillow and almost instantly faded off to sleep.

_“You know it can’t go on like that…”_  
_“You know it will be the right thing to do…”_  
_“You know it’s for the best…”_  
_“You know I love you, Haru…”_

He woke up with a moan, covering his face with his hands. No, he couldn’t come back as if nothing happened. Couldn’t sit here without talking to Makoto again. He had to, he needed to.  
Haru jumped to his feet and rushed out to the familiar house with welcoming lights always on in the windows. It was late night now, he didn’t know how late, didn’t bother to look at the clock. But he knew, he still wouldn’t be rejected, not here.  
Haru anxiously knocked at the door, quick, before hesitation found him. He knew who would answer and he knew who was waiting for him.  
“Haru, it’s so late.” Makoto opened the door, rubbing his eyes. Another bluff, he wasn’t asleep, he was crying and that was painfully obvious.  
“Let’s drive to the coast.” Haru blurted out.  
“Wha…” Makoto looked at him with wide-open eyes and pain stroke the green for a second. “Why?”  
“Please, we have to talk, please.”  
But Makoto was already picking his car keys and putting on a jacket. That’s when Haru realized he went out in one thin t-shirt, and again, habitually reading his thoughts, Makoto offered him his pullover. Oh well, that’s not helping.  
They sat in the car and Makoto carefully set the vehicle in motion. Haru opened the window and listened to the gentle rustle of the wheels on the ground accompanied by the ocean roar. He looked at the driver without trying to hide all the emotions crying in him. Makoto looked confused but focused. And as much as Haru wanted to begin talking he also wanted to just take in every detail of Makoto, that he’s never really forgotten.  
The coast was just a 15-minute drive and that was not enough to prepare. Instead Haru came up with another plan, to win some time, to have something to remember if nothing goes right.  
“Stop by the pool.”  
“It’s almost 1am, it’s closed.”  
“It’s not the first time we sneak in. And I doubt they will do anything, our faces are on the walls of the place.”  
Makoto bit his lip but killed the engine in front of the familiar building. They left the car and walked around the place to the backdoor. Haru looked around for a spare key, Makoto followed his example. They found it under a statue of a lucky cat sitting on a corner of the porch. Haru opened the door and they entered the dark hallway. They didn’t need lights - the building was once their second home. They easily found the pool itself. It was dark but moon shone through the roof and made the water glow and throw light spots on the walls.  
Haru looked up at Makoto, he looked just like the first time. He was excited but nervous, maybe closer to terrified when they were kids.  
“Do you remember how we snuck in here the very first time?”  
“Yes.” Makoto’s cheeks turned a little darker. “We were kids back then.”  
“But it was the first time you told me you loved me.” Haru reminded, subconsciously hugging his own shoulders, remembering how they spent the night swimming around and how cold it was to walk back home in wet clothes.  
“I was just a boy with a lot of feelings back then, I didn’t know what I was saying.” Makoto frowned, looking down at the water.  
“That’s not true. I know.” Haru turned to him. “You meant what you said back then.”  
“Is there anything else you want to do while we are here? We need to be back home before my family begins to worry.” Taller man cleared his throat.  
Haru’s heart sank at his passive tone but it was all a lie. He was right, he knew Makoto and he was playing again and Haru was not buying. And there was only one thing to do there anyway. Without a second thought Haru made a large step towards the pool and next second he felt water closed above his head. When he emerged he saw a scared face.  
“I didn’t expect that.”  
“You should have.” Haru laid on his back and made a few strokes.  
“Come on, I am serious above coming home.” Makoto hesitantly stepped closer. “If you want to talk on the coast we need to hurry.”  
He extended his hand to Haru and the later was about to cry. He missed the sight, the hand, the force of the pull and how Makoto always lingered their palms together a little longer than necessary.  
“Let’s go.”  
Makoto didn’t say a word about Haru making the seat of his car soaking wet. Instead he turned the heater on and put his jacket onto brunet’s shoulders. They were soon on the coast and the car stopped a little further from the town.  
“We can’t go out of the car, you’ll get a cold.” Makoto noted.  
“I want to talk by the ocean, let’s get into the back.” Haru nodded to the pick-up and caught a confused stare. “Come on, if you think I might get cold, warm me up.”  
Makoto pursed his lips into a thin line but got out of his seat and got to the back. Haru followed. Makoto laid on his back and Haru laid on top of him. For a few seconds they awkwardly tried to get comfortable before Makoto closed his eyes and finally OH FINALLY put his hands around Haru’s shoulders, slightly but noticeably squeezing him.  
“It’s hard without you, Makoto.” Haru said after a pause, closing his eyes as well.  
Makoto made a sound deep in his throat but didn’t say anything.  
“I never thought I would cry just because you are not sleeping next to me but I did.”  
“I know, Haru, I…”  
“I love you, it hasn’t changed. Nothing has changed. That’s why I need you. Back. With me.”  
He blurted it all out in one breath and now his breathing was heavy. Makoto squeezed him harder and Haru realized he was breathing fast as well. Dull beat under his ear was gradually becoming louder and stronger.  
“Remember how I confessed to you?” Haru said calmer.  
“Of course I do. It was there, after the graduation and we were drunk and everyone saw it coming. Well, everyone but me.” He shook almost letting out a laugh. “I know you so well but that… I thought that could never happen.”  
“I thought I would never be able to say it. But you still knew it all along, didn’t you?”  
“I mean… I wanted to.” Makoto opened his eyes, looking up at the starry sky above them. “Haru, why you never called? It’s been so long. And after what I said… I never wanted to be wrong so badly…”  
“I thought you were right. I thought it would be better for you.” Haru raised his head to look in Makoto’s face. “But it’s not, is it? It certainly isn’t for me. I can’t go on without you. And I don’t mean swimming or anything like that. I can’t cope without you.”  
“I know and I am so sorry I thought I can decide it for the both of us.” Makoto sat up, keeping Haru in his lap and never relaxing the arms enveloping him. “It’s been so hard without you, I couldn’t focus on studying, I lost all that was driving me. I felt so pathetic and useless. And it all was my fault.”  
“It wasn’t a fault.” Haru cupped his face, bracing himself for saying what was playing in the back of his mind for the past two years. Something he wished for on every damn occasion like the shooting stars or accidentally noticed 11:11. Something he could hardly hope for. “Not yet, not while we can still fix it.”  
“I don’t want you to give up on swimming.”  
“I don’t have to do that. We can work it other way round.”  
“I can’t live far away from you. We tried, it doesn’t work like that.”  
“Can you…” Haru stopped himself mid-sentence afraid to sound selfish but continued anyway. It was finally time. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. “Can you move in with me? There are plenty of shelters in Sydney and I am sure they will be happy to take you in.”  
“You know I work in a shelter?” Makoto smiled gently.  
“Yeah. Nagisa was sort of my informer...” Haru dropped his stare for a second afraid to think why Makoto changed the topic. “Please… I can’t imagine returning without you…”  
Instead of saying anything Makoto lifted his chin with a finger and looked into his eyes smiling. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. Warmth spread all over Haru’s body despite the wet clothes and the sea breeze. And he knew, it’s going to be all right again.

**Author's Note:**

> You are welcome to interpret actions of the characters in any way that you prefer.


End file.
